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I've been married to my husband for quite some time now, and I find it very difficult to balance between my husband and my mother. At times it tears me apart from inside.

Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahmann Murad

Assalamu Alaikum, May Allah bless you sister and grant you success in this life and in the next. Ameen. 

No doubt the rights of your mother and husband are both important. But what happens in the event there is a conflict? Some mothers like to get involved in the lives of their children to "sort things out." At times, their advice may even tear apart a young couple! Here are a few guidelines that will be useful in sorting out problems that arise because of this:  

1. When a mother speaks to her daughter about certain aspirations she has and what she wishes to see done in the lives of the newlyweds, the daughter should look at this advice logically; is it good or will it lead to a bad conclusion? She should as well discuss her mother's advice with her husband. 

2. If the advice is not good, she should leave it aside - respectfully disagree with her mother and not follow through with her advice. The Prophet, may Allah exalt his mention, said: "There is no obedience to anyone when it comes to disobeying Allah." (Authentic - Sahih al-Jami)

3. Now that you are married, your love to your parents is no doubt something you will always have...but you as well have a relationship with your husband. That is something of even greater importance. I would advise that you be open, and if you feel uncomfortable about something...be blunt and address the problem head-on. 

May Allah bless you. Ameen