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My son speaks to me and disrespects me. It upsets me very much. Can you share something with me please?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahmann Murad

Assalamu Alaikum. May Allah grant you success and ease. Ameen.

There are a few things you can do depending on the age of the child, the strength of his character and his personality. 

1. Make Dua (supplication to Allah). This is the first thing you should do. The Dua of a parent is accepted by Allah...do not make Dua against him, but for him. Call onto Allah during specific times when the Dua is accepted; i.e., when it rains, while in Sujood (in prayer) and during the last third of the night. 

2. Ensure your son attends programs at a local masjid, Qur'an classes...youth circles, etc. The Prophet, may Allah exalt his mention, said: "One of you will be influenced by those who he accompanies." (Hasan-Mishkhat al-Masabeeh) If your son's friends are pious and good, he too will be pious and behave well, insha'Allah.

3. You will need to be firm as well. At times a child will test the parent to see how far he or she can 'push the envelope'. If the child succeeds in pushing you into a corner the worse he/she will become over time! But if you stood firm and 'disciplined' him (by cutting allowance, taking away privileges, grounding, etc.)... you will insha'Allah see a good result.

May Allah bless you. Ameen